If you’ve ever thought: “Maybe I’m not ready.” “I don’t deserve the next level yet.” I want to offer you a reframe that can change everything. Sometimes what feels like a confidence problem is actually a system design problem.
In Invisible Women, Caroline Criado Perez puts words (and data) to something many women have felt for years but struggled to explain: When women are missing from data, they become the exception, and workplaces quietly default to standards built around men.
It’s rarely malicious. It’s rarely explicit. It’s just… baked in. And when the system doesn’t fully see you, it’s easy to start questioning yourself.
What Invisible Women reveals, and why it hits so hard at work?
The book’s core message is both simple and unsettling. When women aren’t properly represented in data, the world is designed around male defaults, in healthcare, safety, public spaces… and yes, the workplace. In leadership, this shows up as:
- “Leadership potential” assessed through a narrow lens of how leaders have historically looked and sounded.
- Performance and promotion criteria that reward visibility styles more common and more socially accepted in men.
- “Confidence” being interpreted as communication style rather than actual capability.
This is how women end up doing the work, yet still feeling unseen.
The first opportunity gap: why so many women feel stuck early?
Research continues to confirm what women experience in real life. The Women in the Workplace 2025 report shows that the biggest barrier isn’t senior leadership, it’s the first step up to manager. In 2025:
- For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 93 women were promoted.
- For women of colour, the gap is even wider.
This matters because when fewer women get that first promotion, fewer women are in the pool for the next one… and the next one… until leadership starts to feel like a room you were never invited into. Here’s the part that quietly holds confidence back: When you don’t see people like you moving up at the same rate, you internalise it as personal. But it’s not personal. It’s structural.
“Maybe I just need to be more confident” is often the wrong diagnosis
As a Talent Acquisition leader, I’ve watched extraordinary women:
- Downplay their achievements.
- Wait to be “fully ready”.
- Hesitate to apply unless they meet every requirement.
- Interpret lack of sponsorship as lack of worth.
But the data tells a different story. Early-career women are less likely to receive the career support, sponsorship, advocacy and stretch opportunities that turn potential into promotion. Confidence isn’t just an internal trait. It’s also an outcome of:
- Being sponsored.
- Being invited into visible opportunities.
- Being encouraged in rooms that matter.
If you’re not getting those inputs, it’s not surprising confidence takes a hit.
The invisible mental load behind leadership ambition
There’s another layer we don’t talk about enough. Women’s capacity is often taxed before work even begins. Research consistently shows that uneven household and caregiving responsibilities disproportionately affect women’s mental health, energy, and career focus, especially for women with partners and children. When you’re carrying more of the load at home and expected to show up with constant leadership presence at work, confidence doesn’t just require mindset. It requires systems, boundaries, and support.
So what do we do with this?
If the system can’t be fixed overnight, here’s the leadership truth: You don’t need permission to start leading. You need a plan that builds self-evidence, presence, and voice, step by step. Below are three tools I give women who feel stuck, overlooked, or undeserving because they work even inside imperfect systems.
The self-evidence file
Confidence that doesn’t depend on mood. Confidence becomes stable when it’s built on proof.
This week, create a note called Self-Evidence and add five bullets:
- 2 measurable outcomes you’ve delivered (numbers, scope, stakeholders, speed).
- 2 moments you influenced without authority.
- 1 difficult thing you handled that most people never see.
Repeat weekly. Confidence grows when your brain can’t argue with the facts.
The 90-second leadership intro
Presence + voice in one rep. This is how you stop shrinking in rooms. Use this structure:
- What you lead or own.
- The impact you drive.
- What you’re focused on next.
- What you’re open to or looking for.
Practise it three times. Record it once. Refine it. This isn’t performance. It’s identity rehearsal.
Sponsorship by design
Because waiting is expensive. If sponsorship is unevenly distributed, we get intentional. Choose one sponsor candidate, a leader who influences visibility or promotion.
This month, do three things:
- Ask for input: “What would ‘excellent’ look like to you here?”
- Share a win in one line: “Quick update: here’s the impact.”
- Make a clear ask: “If you see an opportunity aligned to X, would you consider putting my name forward?”
Sponsorship grows through consistent, low-friction visibility, not one big moment.
The real message of Invisible Women for aspiring leaders
You are not too much. You are not not enough. When systems aren’t built to measure women accurately, women start believing they’re the problem. But you’re not.
Your next level isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about:
- Naming what’s invisible.
- Building presence as a skill.
- Strengthening your voice through practice.
- Stacking evidence until confidence becomes inevitable.
If this resonated, subscribe. And if you’re a woman aspiring to leadership who wants structured, data-informed coaching support, reach out for personalised coaching sessions.
Because the system may be imperfect, but your leadership doesn’t have to wait.